‘Twas the Night Before Xmas – 2

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I went to the Model X reveal in Fremont last month a penned a second version of ‘Twas the Night Before Xmas’ on the way out there. Enjoy!


Twas the Night Before Xmas II

Twas the night before Xmas, when all ‘cross the bay
All the X fans were stirring – we’re one day away!
The plans to attend the reveal were made clear,
In hopes that our Elon soon would be here;

The S’ were charging snug in their garages,
While Model X owners hoped not for mirages;
JB in his calcs and Franz in his sketches,
Had just arrived to take part in the message;

When down at Solyndra there arose such a party,
That all came a driving, ‘let’s not be tardy!’
They drove and they parked and they stood there awaiting,
Expectations were high for a ‘best ever’ rating;

The moon was abreast, it was tired of eclipsing,
The owners were pumped, we wanted revealing!
When what in the background of selfies appeared,
But the new Model X – it kicked ass, yes, my dear!

With a little old driver, (or an autonomous one?)
We knew in a moment it must be Elon!
More rapid than Einstein his brain it did spin,
And we knew that no one was smarter than him:

Now Porsche, now Aston, now Jaguar and Audi,
On Beamers, on Benzes, hell throw in Ferrari;
Get your engineers stoked, throw out your gas tech,
You’re all chasing Tesla, prepare now to wreck!

As cars that before the reveal party fly,
When they meet with Nvidia, they hail Mobileye!
So out to the stage the reveal Xs flew,
With a whole slew extras that nobody knew!

And then in an inkling we saw on the roof,
The Falcon Wings open, this was living proof!
As I snapped on my iPhone, and recorded with sound,
Down to the stage St. Elon came with a bound!

He was dressed, thank Talulah, in clothes that looked good,
For the Livestream was being sent out to the ‘hood.
A bundle of options were Signature bound,
And the second row seats were made to astound!

The X, how it sparkled, its headlights, how pretty!
And its aerodynamics were .24 ready!
Its dark plastic nosecone was taught as your skin,
And the tint-changing roof glass let some light in.

All doors would now open, with a touch here or there,
And cupholders, cupholders, were now everywhere!
It had a big pack, and room in the frunk,
And third row seats that fold down for a trunk.

It still had great range, Detroit’s out of luck,
And dieselgate execs could only say *uck.
The LED eyes and climate cool seats,
Made me think this reveal would be full of tweets.

We got to peer close, the car looks like art,
Remember this company’s just at its start.
And stomping and pulling close to 1G,
Made us feel it’s ‘game over’ when we get Model 3.

We had a great night, the X wait’s forgiven,
We want to configure and enter production!
So we left feeling good as it faded from sight,
Merry Xmas to all, our dear Tesla’s all right.

‘Twas the night before Xmas…

If you want to buy a Model S and want a $1,000 discount, feel free to use my code:


And enjoy the poem!

‘Twas the Night Before Xmas…

‘Twas the night ‘for Xmas and all through the forum,
The posters were antsy, they’d thrown out decorum!

Their stocks had gone up at the end of last week,
In the hopes that St. Elon would send out a Tweet.

The Res. holders were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of falcon wings danced in their heads.

While Bonnie in her Roadster and Nigel in his ‘S’,
Had just settled down to let their fingers rest.

When over at Fremont there arose such a clatter,
A new thread was started to discuss what was the matter.

LED headlights started to flash,
And v7.0 appeared on the dash!

The moonlight at Hawthorne started to show,
That the launch of this next model was ‘all systems go’.

When what to our wondering eyes did appear,
But the new Model X! This was no mule, dear.

With a wing-walking driver, no way Exxon’s pawn,
We knew in a moment this must be Elon!

More rapid than falcons this SUV came,
And he laughed and joked and called it ‘Insane’:

Now JB, now Deepak, now Franz and Chris Porritt!
On Diarmuid, on Jerome and George B. before it,

To the top of the sales charts, to to the ships in the ports!
get cars to customers, (and Consumer Reports)!

As blurry videos showed before the car was yet driven,
The ‘X’ is amazing, delays are forgiven!

So out to the Founders and showrooms they flew,
Went trucks full of Xs and Elon went too!

And then, in the media, we heard with a cheer,
Motor Trend, once again, said ‘Car of the Year’!

As we checked on our status, and deliv. date projections,
Elon streamed a reveal that showed all the options!

He was dressed all in black, clothes Talulah had picked,
And we swear his sunglasses were electrochromic!

Purchase agreements, he had in a stack,
Those old auto dealers were taken aback!

His projections, how they fluttered, and while recently wary,
50,000 deliveries did not seem so scary,

With autonomous here, and a little more code,
The Model X would have its own ‘Ludicrous’ mode.

The second row seats, how they swivel to greet,
And a titanium shield still lurks beneath,

The nose has a cone and the rear can tow plenty,
And with a big battery pack it exceeds 120.

It was stylish and sleek, an SUMV*,
We all knew the servers would blow at TMC.

This is the future, we’re all into EVs,
And it gave us a great hope for the new Model 3s.

We are grateful for Tesla and all their great work,
Ignore Holman Jenkins, the miserable jerk.

So here’s to the Founders and Signatures too,
Powerwall, Powerpack and Gig Factory 2.

Elon sprang to the Hyperloop, SpaceX had a countdown,
There’s a lot on his plate, don’t let it get him down,

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“Solar panels to all, let’s be powered by light”.

*SUMV = Sports Utility Mini Van



John Peterson Challenge – Update

OK, 8 data points are in on the John Peterson Challenge, and I sure hope you didn’t bet with John. To refresh your memory, On 4/7 John wrote a Seeking Alpha article where he indicated if you invested in TSLA, you would make money 1 time out of 64, break even 1 time out of 64, and lose money 62 times out of 64. In the comments section I asked John to pick 64 data points for verification, and when he didn’t respond, I chose 64 being the next 4 Mondays of April and the first Monday of every month from May 2014 until April of 2019. Well, as of today we have 8 data points, with the reference TSLA value being the close on 4/7/14 of 207.52. Here’s the data to date:

Close on 4/7: 207.52

Close on 4/8: 215.46 Gain: +7.94 TSLA wins

Close on 4/14: 198.09 Loss: -9.43 JP wins

Close on 4/21: 204.38 Loss: -3.14 JP wins

Close on 4/28: 198.51 Loss: -9.01 JP wins

Close on 5/5: 216.61 Gain: +9.09 TSLA wins

Close on 6/2: 204.70 Loss: -2.82 JP wins

Close on 7/7: 222.66 Gain: +15.14 TSLA wins

Close on 8/4: 238.52 Gain 31.00 TSLA wins

So TSLA wins 4 and JP wins 4. Wouldn’t be bad for JP except for two things – he said he’d win 62 of 64 times (oops) and as of today, he’s $31 in the hole (oopsx2). I hope none of you invested with him. BTW, John edited out the section of that article where he said TSLA would lose money 62 of 64 times. Hmmmm…